You can only go beyond this point if you are a passenger. Take your shoes off, remove your belt, jacket, keys and wallet in the plastic tray, laptop out of the bag. Raise your arms, please.
If your name is Muhammad, Ali or Khan, more questions at the border or just boarding (even without that t-shirt embossed with foreign calligraphy).
When did you last visit Pakistan? Or should I say Pawkeestawn?
10 years ago for my brother's wedding.
Did he kidnap the bride? Or was it a shotgun wedding?
Ha ha ha. No they're back in England.
Do you have a Pakistani passport?
No, I only have this British passport.
Have you ever had a Pakistani passport?
No I travelled once as a child on my mother's Pakistani passport.
Are your parents Pakistanis?
They have British passports. All my family is British. They don't have Pakistani passports anymore. Not since 1973. We were naturalized as UK citizens.
Do you consider yourself Pakistani?
I have a British passport.
Do you consider yourself Pakistani, Yes or No?
Just answer the question. Do you consider yourself Pakistani?
I might have to put you on a special registration list which means that the officers over there will ask you more questions. Hmm... But since you've been to the States several times I'll let you go this time.
Thank you very much, Sir.
'Consider yourself one of the family' sang Fagin. This compilation of songs, mainly from the network of audioblogs that I've grown to love deeply and widely, is the kind of mix I'd want to listen to soothe me on the plane or even the train when I know the above can happen at the border. No plans to go far for some months so this is my vicarious travel listening for the easiest ride possible. Well, there are a few unforeseen surprises. Can't always be smooth sailing. You hit 'mild turbulence' once or twice.
PASSENGERS ONLY 09.06
MOACIR SANTOS--Coisa Número 9
THE SANDPIPERS--Inch Worm
JOANNA NEWSOM--Sawdust & Diamonds
SUSANA BACA--The Anchor Song
ALFRED AHOLO APAKA--Beyond The Reef
THE GLENRAYS--Egyptian Nightmare
ELVIS PRESLEY--Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce
VAN DYKE PARKS--Blue Snake & Zebras
DENNIS ROLLINS--Fast Car
BOOKER T. & The MG's--Sarasota Sunset
THE STAPLE SINGERS--Slow Train
SERGIO MENDES/BRAZIL '66--Chove Chuva
LES INTRIGANTES--Hello Goodbye
ROXY MUSIC--India (Tropical Computer Edit)
L'ALTRA, PHIL RANELIN & SLICKER--Hefty Naked Ninja (Eliot Lipp Remix)